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Moon Coins

Insane Coin Offerings: To The Moon

This article is the fourth in a series about the most absurd Initial Coin Offerings. Read the previous article here.

For millennia, the moon has appeared throughout the legends, traditions, religions, and art of humankind. From the Neolithic people of the British Isles to Leonardo da Vinci to Neil Armstrong, Earth’s nightlight fascinates prehistoric, Renaissance, and modern humans alike. Now the moon dazzles an eclectic, nerdy bunch of twenty-first-century humans for an entirely new reason.

In the age of cryptographic money, the moon is the subject of cryptocurrency vernacular used by enthusiastic adopters to describe appreciating – or soon-to-be appreciating – coins. Anyone remotely familiar with cryptocurrency knows the expression “going to the moon” (or the interchangeable rocket ship emoji) signals a price breakout of epic proportions. And “mooning” is not an act of indecent exposure.

But the moon is also a cheap namesake for a panoply of altcoin and token projects. It’s unlikely that these coins will materialize anything more than extremely easy ways to go completely broke without even trying. And which, if any, of these coins will go to the moon is an open question (partially because no one really knows at what point a coin or token lands on the moon).

MoonCoin is a token that claims to be “easy, reliable, transparent, faster than Bitcoin, adjusted for micropayments, available for everyone” and “fast, simple, people-oriented, fair, not overhyped” and “not for criminals.” MoonCoin even has its own “lightweight blockchain” with its own programming language: MoonWord.

BTCMoon is a token that claims to be “the most exclusive ERC20 token available anywhere in the world” because of its limited supply of 21,000,000 tokens. It’s trading at $0.009376 at the time of writing – up over 400% in two days. Maybe the metaphorical moon is within reach for this token.

If not, BitMoon is a token offering project “working hard to bring you new experience.” Because their website offers literally nothing more than that single sentence, a timer, and social media links, I have nothing else to say.

Lunar Coin also hijacks the moon brand, but has released no updates since a hard fork in early 2015. Prior to the fork, Lunar Coin advised it’s adopters to “Just replace the new wallet witht the old one [sic].” Enough said.

Moon Funding aims to be a “one-stop solution to creating a business from scratch,” according to their twenty two-page whitepaper. About their ICO, they boast: “If you are an entrepreneur or an investor, you will earn with us.” (Whether you will earn profits or losses is unclear.)

¡Y si habla español, también hay una “moon coin” para ti!

Luna Coin (or BitLuna) is a little known project “domiciled in the country of Seychelles,” according to their website, which is more of a paradisiacal than extraterrestrial destination.

In all seriousness, if you want to go to the moon, a moon coin will probably not take you there. But maybe a moon hedge fund will.

Enter Lunar Fund. Instead of describing this project, read how they describe themselves. Lunar Fund is “a cryptocurrency hedge fund running on the blockchain. We use artificial intelligence and advanced machine learning techniques for portfolio management the execution of short-term & long-term trades. Yes, we know that’s a lot of buzz words,” they add. An ICO for Lunar Fund is listed as “active” on ICO Alert, but the fund’s website makes no mention of the offering except for an option to “join the fund“.

But maybe moon money isn’t your crypto-cup of tea.

In the spirit of an overused aphorism, settle for the stars with the StarCoin ICO (although the coin appears oriented toward entertainment icons, not incandescent celestial bodies). Return to earth with the strange Back to Earth ICO. Or just stay home altogether with Earth Coin.

Serious and seasoned cryptocurrency adopters, developers, miners, and investors hold to a fierce #MoonMindset which usually involves substantial effort to actually take their coin(s) to the moon. But naming an altcoin or token project after the planet itself falls outside of that ethos.

As ELO sings in “21st Century Man,” “One day you’re a hero. Next day you’re a clown. There’s nothing that is in between.” And for most tokens, nothing is truer.

Disclosure: The author owns none of the coins or tokens mentioned in this article.

Follow @zackvoell on Twitter.

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